My son will be 2 next month. Big […]. Thank you thank you thank you! If I waited till I was “ready” to apologize it could be too late. 1. Same if they kick, pull hair, etc. In sport and athletics. We all had certain things that we had to do, of course, like keeping our own rooms tidy, but the rest we could negotiate between ourselves. Nature provides the best example of discipline in life. Too many people think that not spanking means you just let your kids run wild. you more productive. I was raised in a devout Christian home which took “spare the rod spoil the child” literally. I don’t have to spank him to get the point across. I saw a post of Facebook that was about getting your children to do chores. constant evaluation. I’m going to try these. Punishment is not the answer. I have found it entirely possible enforce these hard-and-fast rules without spanking, although I am much more firm and the consequences are more serious and immediate, if needed, than with other rules. The transition period is HARD. That means you will require less mental energy to be self-discipline to work on it. I was taught that and to this day always apologize when it’s needed. Most of the time, the real disobedience and tantrums are not because of “behavior” issues, but because they are not feeling right. Discipline is the habit of action according to some rules an regulations. I’m struck at the difference between what I would consider “discipline” and what you would. Where do I start? Eight Spiritual Disciplines for Everyday Life. You don’t see much “punishment” here. I also think that if you don’t require children to ask for forgiveness of a child when they hurt someone, and they get in a pattern of not asking for forgiveness, then as adults, they don’t see the necessity of making things right with someone that they have hurt. The instructor mentioned that my daughter pinched her and said she “doesn’t do pinching”. Self-discipline is a character trait that most people admire. The importance of self discipline: Conclusion. Classroom discipline is a complex issue and a key concern for teachers, school administrators, students, and parents. Practice incorporating these things into your daily life. I practiced attachment parenting with her as an infant (even before I knew the things I was doing had a name) so naturally I liked the idea of disciplining through redirection, offering choices, labeling feelings, etc. Considering that so much of what we do on a daily basis is habit-driven, developing the right habits will help to instill the right amount of discipline into our lives.But where do habits come from and how are they developed? Discipline and punctuality are two most essential traits required in a professional to be successful. I work x – y everyday, so I can’t do these chores that have to be done during the day. They test you a lot. I’m the author of Natural Remedies for Kids and the owner and lead herbalist at Earthley. But they won’t remember all the time, just like we don’t either. Repeated hitting usually results in them getting separated for awhile, being sent to play in different rooms, etc. . I read your post on not spanking and am in complete agreement, I am going to stop spanking as well, but not having some sort of back up like timeouts seems a bit scary and extreme. Do you expect them to generally obey? We’re going to do things differently now. I don’t really see much discipline here. (Fun fact: that brother is now grown with children of his own, and runs a tree-trimming and yard work service. Employees who concentrate on their work rather than interfering in their colleague’s finish their work on time and do not have to sit beyond the working hours. “Your car seat stays strapped until the car is off” is one. For example, a military can't envision its reality without it, thus authorizes severe discipline in their area of expertise and divisions with zero toleration approach. Hand in Hand Parenting, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, Grace-Based Parenting, Aha Parenting…there are more but those will get you started! Nothing could be further from the truth. The more you train and build it, the stronger you become. All these can lead to success and improvement and will allow you to achieve your goal in sports. When he’s gone beyond healthy boundrys, knows he’s doing wrong it’s discussed, and without humiliation, anger or out of control intimidation he is reprimanded properly and then loved. When the kids have taken straps off before the car was turned off (although we were stopped), I made them re-strap, I drove around a bit, then parked again. So it’s really hard to say…where do we draw the line? As with any skill, you'll need to practice self-discipline on a daily basis. I could not remove her from it. Other areas in life are governed by rules agreed upon so that peo­ple can work and play together: the rigidity of the squares and the moves in chess, the rules of a trade union, the by-laws of a corporation, for example, and the regulation of traffic. I do suggest that they do so, and try to explain how the other person is feeling. Then he gets hugs and kisses because he always waits out his two minutes quietly. How do you deal with stubborn 8 year olds that dint want to go to bed at night. I want to challenge you to start doing the little things you know you should do. The following are the basic types of self-discipline. We used other forms of discipline for many other things but the Bible clearly talks about using the rod of discipline. if they aren’t spanked or put in time out. I like all of these – I think they are great! Somehow that satisfied my mom. We *all* have a short fuse when we don’t feel well. Sometimes with new babies, they act out as a means of getting your attention. It’s not typically done “the right way” anyway.”. I am writing this to provide one example of what works for us. He is also very smart. I try not to say no unless I have to and I try not to engage her in silly battles (like whether bread is called a “bun” or a “bundle” — who cares?). Well — there are no studies done on spanking while it is happening, no. cleaning up the kitchen, our family area, when you are done), then you don’t get to have those things. My heart is heavy when I go to sleep at night feeling as though I have let my children down. If I do yell, the kid lays down and sobs “I love you mom! Also check out our book site for help with Healthy Living Solutions. spanking definitely doesn’t work with her, she is one tough little woman. My husband often resorts to spanking (this happens a couple times a week). She/He is feelings & emotions. I don’t mess around with safety. Others have been spanked (probably the “wrong” way, frequently or very hard) and do have problems. And begins kicking the back of my seat in the car. We are a "normal" family in every obvious way. If I sound stern, they usually refuse/ignore. I ask them to try again, or sometimes pretend I didn’t hear them. A personal development blog, Dumb Little Man, highlights Do you know what disciplines your mind the most? Thanks!! Everyone can. I wish people would stop using spanking and hitting as if they meant the same thing. Self-discipline is the ability to be honest about your actions or behavior even Take my hand and take me to it.” Then even if the words aren’t so clear, they have an opportunity to make themselves understood. It makes for an arrogant, unrepentant adult, who doesn’t care what other people feel. The rod corrected the course for the sheep. He’s exhausted but just doesn’t want to go to bed. Teach them how to do it repeatedly until you are sure they really understand — you might be surprised that they don’t. That was a couple years ago and I tried yelling and putting him in time out and etc. Also, your description of the OT use of a rod is extremely flawed. Important This site makes use of cookies which may contain tracking information about visitors. Even so, cleaning isn’t fun and kids drag their feet about it. The kid who doesn’t like to clean will refuse if we say “Go clean up.”  But if we say, “Please pick up the books,” it goes much better. My husband and I were both spanked as kids and both of us grew up feeling so very loved by our parents and we knew that our parents didn’t spank us in anger. She asked if I do timeouts yet and i explained that we do not take that approach. We also try to keep it positive (I won’t say I don’t still yell sometimes when they are dawdling, because I do!) Since that’s probably how it goes down in a lot of homes, we can’t say that spanking is okay, in a general sense, or that “the right way” is better. With growth comes the ability to enjoy life in … I have had compliments. They do not like going to bed without me (although they will if I am really unavailable), but having both of us helps to cut down on shenanigans, plus we both get to say good night. How to you react to “tantrums” that you know is pure frustration? He wants to give us all we need to raise them well, discipline them well, love them well and He will. My son does not spank bc he does either. I see so many parents who just yell at their kids not to do something but never get up to do anything. I’m hoping some of your suggestions help! I know people in both categories who weren’t spanked. Spankings are reserved for the absolute non-negotiables (think running into the street). We have 3 boys (8, 5 & 14 months). Thank you! I have never had a single negative comment on their behavior. Everyone is different. My second was a runner and it was hard from maybe 18 months until 3.5 years. And yes, they’re kids and humans and they mess up. well, since it’s hard to determine if someone is really sorry or not, I certainly appreciate their saying they are and accept that they mean it. Sometime before I die I would like to observe this in work. Tired? and that never stopped it. I still do all the cooking when I visit her, and she helps with my laundry if she stays with me. I don’t let my kids hit me or each other (and I don’t hit them to teach them not to hit). When I spank I explain why my son is being spanked, he gets a swat on the butt and a 2 minute time out. Hi Kate! Of course, if they push you lead them the right way immediately, but for example, if child throws a toy, do you take it right away or do you say, we don’t throw, it can break, hurt…. Thank you!!! The Bible does say children should be obedient. I really want to try this out and have been implimenting what is in your book but i cant get her to stop these behaviors. working. If a child throws a toy, that toy is put up. Self-discipline is difficult. Our girls are not bad children and we are quick to keep them in line about being rude and all that. Hit ’em if you love ’em so they grow up to be good.”  I won’t say what I think of that line of reasoning but it isn’t nice. Is there any advice you can offer during this transition period for older kids? My 5-year-old LOVES her baby brother and is constantly picking him up and carrying him around. A bath, a favorite book or TV show, a cup of tea, whatever it is that you enjoy. That kid could NOT handle it. person with good self-discipline would start small, like 240 words, and then First, “beating with a rod” really meant to beat your child, to the point of bruising, but without causing permanent damage or breaking any bones. He screams and fights me to be put into a shopping cart, such as at the grocery store. […] ending yelling is important to you, you might also be interested in 9 examples of positive discipline – lots of other ways to respond to your kids without yelling or […]. We need to become a motivation for everyone around us. Clear targets, lined up priorities and strong self discipline, all go hand in hand. That verse is “not” talking about verbal instruction. But, another kid explodes in tears of fury and curls up in a ball on the floor and screams, completely unable to handle the exact same situation. What do you do when he throws? If children are grown up in an atmosphere of love and brotherhood, they tend to be good citizens. Thank you , Here’s an article you may like: https://modernalternativemama.com/2015/02/06/child-runs-street/. That just means that some could deal with even a “wrong” spanking and it would roll off them, but others would be extremely distressed even by a “right” spanking. I have a three item list I created for employer/employees, but it’s applicable in all relationships and especially relevant here. Essay on Discipline in students life:- It is said that Discipline is an asset of life.Essay on Discipline is a common question in almost all class 10 or 12 board exams. So while can’t get people to honestly admit to what they do, as parents, we hear the kids talking a lot. Sleep connects directly to our impulse control. Being brutally honest about your successes and failures is the only Sports and athletics are other areas where self-discipline is very vital. Now at almost 4 he finally doesn’t really do it anymore, unless way overtired. I didn’t have a choice to come back. It is hitting a defenceless child and there is no correct way to do it. This is a great post. I am struggling with this right now. But when your child blatantly rebels against a rule, I don’t see how positive redirection or the positive discipline works. An 8-year-old child declines to join her friends who are teasing another child. They learn about making healthy choices. Just recently the 2 oldest have been shoving and hitting (9 & 6) in addition to the not wanting to clean up. so nice to see someone caring about others, like in stores, etc. Student life is the seed-time of life. If they do not, or they whine and moan and take forever, then they do not get to do that particular activity again. Basically, outcomes are the same as child abuse but less, in proportion to the amount of violence. Thank you for this wonderful article. I didn’t always feel sorry at home but had to say i was sorry and as time went learned to say it without prompting and guess for the most part meant it when I said it. A 4-year-old asks an adult for help, instead of retaliating aggressively when a peer takes her toy. You can’t teach a kid not to hit by spanking(hitting) them, that just doesn’t make any sense! Personal Resilience. It’s a long process. If you’re not sure what self-discipline traits that other people have, it’s ok. If the Old Testament is flawed, then why did Jesus bother referencing it? This can be modified and expanded to fit a lot of situations, and even include disciplinary steps. And you have to ask yourself which battles you want to fight. We also talk him through his feelings when he is overwhelmed. probably a very disciplined person. Ask Him for wisdom and He will direct you. I applaud folks who spank when they have kids having temper tantrums. My little guy is 9 months old. I clicked on your post to read 5 ways to avoid the drive thru on road trips – and then saw this post in the sidebar! I guess as long as your children are well behaved your form of discipline is working just fine for you. Thanks for the examples! This results in a few things: 1. Also coud you give me advice on how to handle when she runs off from me in a parking lot? When we’re out, if there are sweets or whatever, it’s a special treat. Anyone who thinks ANY way of parenting will spare you from any sort of tantrums/bad moods/etc. Positive discipline makes so much sense to me intuitively however in situations such as these I feel powerless and worry that I’m creating a monster! Why perseverance is important. There would be consequences if he did, like going home immediately and not being allowed to shop with me the next time. Proverbs 18:21 Examples of Positive Discipline. This habit makes you an achiever in your life. Should be easy, right? I kept telling myself that as long as I remained calm and didn’t give into her demands and instead ignore them the behavior would naturally cease. We had just gotten back from a weekend trip and he was out of sorts. But as I read your examples, I realized that I haven’t put my 3 year old on a time out for months now because it never comes to that. School discipline relates to the actions taken by a teacher or the school organization towards a student (or group of students) when the student's behavior disrupts the ongoing educational activity or breaks a rule created by the school. Either way, she teaches some important things about self-discipline and leadership. Then typically tantrum happens (then my husband is upset, occasionally spanks). If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. I know this is a year and a half old, but I thought I may be able to lend a perspective on it. Lately, our generally balanced boy protests loudly when we simply don’t understand what he is asking for. The great men have made mark in their lives, because they strictly follow their goals with all the earnestness and sincerity. Your Priorities are Lined Up. My kids never had tantrums in stores either. It frankly drives me nuts when people say “Kids that aren’t spanked are total wild brats; spanking is the only way to teach ’em. Discipline of any sort should never be used as a means to control a child’s behavior, but rather to instruct them in the difference of right and wrong. Hitting is taking out frustration. The problem is that we rarely know how much effort it I tell them to “use nice hands.”  I back away and say “I will not help you if you kick me.”  I redirect them to new activities. Whether it is God’s discipline, self-discipline, child discipline, etc. https://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers Threaten the kids acting out before we really practice discipline in our student life, we can t!, pj ’ s hand as he walked in front of the past soon d be interested behavior. It very helpful and I don ’ t want the words, I don ’ t really see discipline! 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